Death Rattle Of A Marriage...

In the past did marriages last longer out of love or out of not having a choice?  Did they last longer because we were taught you made your bed so lay in it?  Was the past a more romantic time or just a time of acceptance?

After thirty-eight years, I wonder if my marriage has entered its final chapter.  I try to see when it began to end and can not put my finger on the exact moment or even get close.  It was gradual and no one event caused this illness.

Once we could not stay away from each other, now we can hardly stay in the same room.  Once we talked for hours, now we hardly talk at all.  Once we use to hang on to each others words as if we could taste the sweetness of them.  Now the bitterness shows on his face, my words are of no importance and my presence is not desired.

I shall not say it was his fault or mine.  There is no one fault here.  I only know I can not bear to see the hate in his face any longer. 

I check the pulse of my marriage like a paramedic automatically checks a decapitated corpse for life.  There is but a thread of love's heart beat...do I pull the sheet over the face of this or do I try CPR one more time?